Harriette Cole: He’s asked me out again. Was his first-date behavior a red flag?

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went on a first date with a nice guy I met online, and during our time together, I noticed his attention often wandered to other women around us.

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We hadn’t established exclusivity, given this was date No. 1. I’m unsure if my feelings of discomfort stem from being overly sensitive or if it’s a sign of potential compatibility issues.

He’s asked me for a second date, and I’m conflicted about whether to accept. Should I give it another chance and go on a second date, or is it a cue to reassess our connection and expectations moving forward?

— Wandering Eyes

DEAR WANDERING EYES: If you find the guy interesting, you have a couple of options.

You can talk to him before accepting his invitation and tell him that while you enjoyed his company, you are a bit surprised that he called you for another date because you noticed that he was distracted by other women the whole time you were together. If he can’t focus on you during your date, you will pass on going out again. That may seem abrupt, but it addresses your concern directly and gives him an opportunity to see his behavior and react to it.

If you don’t think you can be that bold, you can go out with him one more time. At the first indication of wandering eyes, you need to check him on it. You can use humor by saying something like, “Are you on this date with me, or are you interested in inviting someone else to join our party?” If he acts surprised, point out that he is doing something you noticed on your first date, namely being distracted by other women when he is supposed to be paying attention to you.

Make it clear to him that no matter what his excuse is, if he wants to date you, he needs to put on some blinders.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My great-aunt and great-uncle recently shared their intention to leave me their cherished small jewelry store when they pass away.

This business holds sentimental value, as it was established and nurtured by them, becoming a local staple. While my cousins or siblings would gladly inherit this legacy, I’m uncertain about taking on the role of a business owner, particularly as I approach middle age.

The stress and responsibility associated with running the store are daunting to me.

How can I address this situation delicately without disappointing my relatives or feeling overwhelmed by this unexpected inheritance?

— Inheritance Woes

DEAR INHERITANCE WOES: Be grateful that your aunt and uncle gave you the heads-up about their plans. Instead of freaking out, spend time with them learning about the ins and outs of the business.

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Thank them for their confidence in you to continue their dream, and be forthright about your apprehensions. Start by asking them as many clarifying questions as you can. Why have they chosen you for this daunting role? What do they see in you that makes them trust that you are the right person for the job? How does the business function? Is it profitable? What are the weak points? How do they source inventory? Who works for them and can be trusted?

Learn absolutely everything that you can so that you are ready when they pass — or so that you can respectfully and clearly tell them you cannot accept their generous gift.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.