Harriette Cole: My boyfriend’s commitment to his faith was the deal-breaker

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently ended a nine-month relationship with my boyfriend due to our different religious beliefs.

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I am a Muslim and he is a Christian, and my family’s disapproval of a nonfaith marriage forced me to respect their wishes.

Despite considering it beforehand, the breakup was painful. Witnessing his devastation left me feeling guilty.

Our relationship was amazing, but our religious differences and his commitment to his faith made it impossible to continue.

Overcoming guilt and heartbreak is challenging, especially knowing his pain.

I’m curious to hear others’ thoughts and perspectives outside of my family. It would be incredibly valuable to me.

— Religious Divide

DEAR RELIGIOUS DIVIDE: There are successful couples who do not follow the same religion, although they will probably tell you how hard it has been, especially if they come from religious families.

When you share your life with someone, you also become part of their family. If your values are different, especially around religion, it can be impossible to strike a harmonious balance.

My advice for next time is to be crystal clear about your requirements for a relationship. If a potential partner is not in alignment with those values or beliefs, don’t start the relationship. That way you preserve both of your hearts in advance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student who often relies on fast food and strives to stay current with trends. However, the recent controversies surrounding major companies have made me question my perspective, and I am unsure how to address these concerns.

For instance, if I continue to purchase products from Apple because I genuinely enjoy their phones, or buy drinks from Starbucks because I appreciate their drinks, it poses a moral dilemma when considering the ethical practices of these companies in light of recent issues, specifically surrounding the Israel-Hamas war.

Despite their questionable behavior, if I pay for only the device or food itself, can I absolve myself from any responsibility for the actions of the company? Am I free from carrying the moral burden of their actions?

I would greatly appreciate your insights on this matter.

— Values Vs. Convenience

DEAR VALUES VS. CONVENIENCE: Your question is one that deserves thoughtful contemplation.

On one hand, you are right. Our world is filled with goods and services designed to make our lives more comfortable. And, yes, some of those goods and services come with a heavier price tag than meets the eye.

Learning more about the ethics and practices of companies that you support is smart, and it’s not hard to do. Research them to see how they invest their money, how they develop their products — including who benefits from them and who doesn’t — how the environment is impacted by their product development and what their leaders’ political beliefs are.

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Harriette Cole: I got bored with my boyfriend and ditched him. Big mistake.

With that information, you can then make a conscious decision as to whether you will continue to support them.

Once you know about a company’s practices, it is hard to pretend that you don’t. While you are not responsible for anyone’s actions other than your own, the way you spend your dollars and time indicates your level of support.

The question you should ask yourself is how you feel about yourself when you patronize a business that doesn’t share your values — and act accordingly.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.